Tuesday, January 20, 2009


I know you are all intrigued by the title of this post. Don't get too excited-- I firmly believe that a blog is not the place to share Deep Dark Secrets or make Shocking Announcements like I'm having an affair/I'm bulimic/I'm not sure I want to be a [insert gender] anymore/I'm convinced I'm actually a dragon.

These and many more secrets and announcements would be fascinating, but I'm going to stick with the more mundane. Here are just a few things that you may not know about me. Some are embarrassing things I've done while others are just some strange qualities I have.

1. When I was in fifth grade, Joy Bowen broke her arm while playing Capture the Flag. When she came to school the next day, she had a new blue cast and EVERYBODY wanted to sign it. People were nice to her during the whole six weeks that she wore the cast. Slightly envious of the attention she was getting, I decided it would be a good idea to break my arm, too. My cast would be green.  So one afternoon I repeatedly jumped out of our apple tree, trying to land on my arm in just the right spot to make it break. Unfortunately (or fortunately), it didn't work and after an hour I gave up.

2. I love the smell of lemons and limes, but I can't stand the smell of oranges. When someone is peeling an orange near me, I want to vomit. If you walk into any lunchroom in a high school or junior high (or, as the case was today, the 7th floor of Zions Bank), you will be hit with the violently nauseating odor of oranges mixed with sour milk, sweat, and garbage. Disgusting! Even in non-lunchroom scenarios, when someone has an orange, I smell the vile lunchroom scent and I shudder. 

3. Recently I saw The House Bunny on DVD. I am not proud of this, but it's the truth. It's almost as embarrassing as voting for Bush. To protect the innocent, I'll just say that a friend rented it and I agreed to watch it with her/him. Probably the hour I spent trying to break my arm was more productive than the 90 minutes I spent watching this awful, AWFUL show. After it was over, I immediately read Time magazine, but I fear the damage has been done; the brain cell loss was just too much.

4. I like Hip-Hop. I blame it on living in New Orleans, but the fact still remains that I enjoy "getting down" with the beat, and "shaking my booty" to the music. Secretly, I would like to take a Hip-Hop dance class, but I currently don't feel a need to make a public spectacle of myself so I refrain for now.

5. I fantasize all the time about packing my bags and leaving on a whim. This is not because I am dissatisfied with my life here in the Beehive state, but because Curiosity often shows up, luring me with tales of adventure that can only be had outside the hive. Recently, Curiosity has been trying to convince me to flee to the exotic isles of Greece or the colorful streets of India. Just when I'm about to yield to the cunnings of Curiosity, however, the painfully pragmatic Prudence intervenes, usually by sending me a letter called "bank statement."

I had a few more to write, but I just looked at the clock and alas, my 15-minute break from homework was over a half hour ago. I suppose I will have to discuss my views on Anita Stansfield novels at a later date.

C heerio!


tammyfaye22 said...

What intriguing confessions you have! I feel like I know you much better now for having read them. As far as Anita Stansfield novels are concerned, I'm not sure your views could be any stronger than those I've heard expressed from my very dear Speak and Jacob. I can't even enter that secion of Deseret Book anymore because I hear them in my head telling me what horrible reading material those books are!

Kimberlie said...

First, I am a dragon. Don't let this fact affect our friendship. Second, I will make sure and have an orange with me at all times with a can of tuna fish because I know you love that smell. Third, don't even try to blame your love of Hip-Hop on New Orleans because I know you were shaking your booty long before the bathroom stall at On-The-Run. Fourth, I fantasize about running away all of the time. I knew Prudence when I lived in Kansas. I wasn't too fond of her sister Priscilla.

Kjrstin said...

curiosity will eventually catch you. i speak from much experience with this. it hits especially hard if you are also dancing with avoidance. the two make a more dynamic duo than the first dynamic duo.

i feel i should confess, too. just for balance. mmmm, i sing out loud (very loud) to kelly clarkson songs. shame crosses my face as i type this. it's ugly, but true.

Confuzzled said...

Oh dear Jamie, you're awesome. And I love the anecdote about breaking your leg. Have I ever told you about my attempts to injure myself my freshman year of college so I wouldn't have to go to my janitorial job in the morning? If not, you're in for a real treat sometime :)

Also, I sometimes fantasize about leaving on a whim. Next time you have such a whim, I'll have such a whim too . . . then if we act on said whims, at least we'll be travel buddies. (Plus, knowing you, you'll appreciate all of the right things in the proper manner.)

Confuzzled said...

And by "leg," I meant "arm," but apparently my brain disconnects after 10 pm . . .